She cannot believe it is almost end of April. She recalled last year’s April. She was spending her birthday with her best friends in Boston. One year ago, she did not have to worry about her future. She missed her school frequently and went to town with her friends every weekend. If she did not want to go to school, she acted like she is dying. She was young. But, time flies and now she is. She knows that trick does not work anymore. She knows it is the most important time in her high school year. So she tries to enjoy her new school and makes many friends but she is now stressed to prepare for her tests in May. She never expects that time would come so fast. She still believes she has few more months to prepare APs and SAT. She keeps recalling last year and wants to go back. Yet, it is April and she only has two more weeks.
Elaine L.- I like how probably almost everyone in this school can relate to your paragraph. And I liked how it's based on a longer scale of time. You included a lot of thoughts of the character; however, lacks a bit of emotion. A few dialogues would have made it a bit more interesting. Over all good job though, the format is very similar to that of the actual original story (excluding the lack of dialogues).
Seung Woo - I like how you compare and contrasted different settings of schools at different periods. For example, the happy times in Boston and the gloomy times in the new school. The chronological order of the story made it easy to understand, progress of the year. The paragraph could be improved if some dialogues were added to add some real thought and emotions.
It is April
She cannot believe it is almost end of April. She recalled last year’s April. She was spending her birthday with her best friends in Boston. One year ago, she did not have to worry about her future. She missed her school frequently and went to town with her friends every weekend. If she did not want to go to school, she acted like she is dying. She was young. But, time flies and now she is. She knows that trick does not work anymore. She knows it is the most important time in her high school year. So she tries to enjoy her new school and makes many friends but she is now stressed to prepare for her tests in May. She never expects that time would come so fast. She still believes she has few more months to prepare APs and SAT. She keeps recalling last year and wants to go back. Yet, it is April and she only has two more weeks.
Elaine L.- I like how probably almost everyone in this school can relate to your paragraph. And I liked how it's based on a longer scale of time. You included a lot of thoughts of the character; however, lacks a bit of emotion. A few dialogues would have made it a bit more interesting. Over all good job though, the format is very similar to that of the actual original story (excluding the lack of dialogues).
Seung Woo - I like how you compare and contrasted different settings of schools at different periods. For example, the happy times in Boston and the gloomy times in the new school. The chronological order of the story made it easy to understand, progress of the year. The paragraph could be improved if some dialogues were added to add some real thought and emotions.